Australia Calling

[Hendy]

G'day, Mageeka,
There is no choice!!!!! Melbourne it is.

                                         Fulton.

Stick to Ireland and Britain, Australia has weak beer, the weathers too warm, Loads of flies and whingeing  POMs
What has the British Isles, 4 lovely Seasons, crackin beer, oh and I forgot Her Majesty has got Australia as well.
Don't forget what a POM really is, PRISONER of the MOTHERLAND, they're still down there and boy do they whinge.

[andy]

hi irishpost! do you ever get anyware near Brisbane,my brother lives
in deception bay 37 rainbow street,you could call in and see him.

[IrishPost]

...Australia has weak beer, the weathers too warm, Loads of flies and whingeing POMs.

Hendy, I take it thay you are just having a bit of the craic and so I won't take your sweeping statements too seriously, however in relation to your claim that Australia has weak beer; what Australian brand of beer are you referring to and what Australian beers have you tasted?

hi irishpost! do you ever get anyware near Brisbane,my brother lives
in deception bay 37 rainbow street,you could call in and see him.

G'day Andy, sorry mate, I live in Victoria and rarely get to Queensland.

Cheers.

[Belle Fast]

Here in OZ we have some great beers, Hahn, Crown Lager, Coopers pale ale to name a few. We also have a few duds Fosters, made for the export market as no one here drinks it and in WA Emu bitter, I've never been that desperate for a beer to try it.

[sj]

Been following this thread for a while. .I live in Paradise (with a capital C).   We live in amongst the crocs North of Cairns where the beer is strong and weemen are weemen.  Where if you have to close the windows for more than two weeks then it has been a severe Winter and where the heat from an electric light bulb would keep you warm.

Just come back from Ireland and U.K. and there is some really nice brew here.  Coopers is delightful and James Boag is as good as any.  Weather is better...much better here  ....except it seems in Perth.

What are you looking for new members for ?     

[IrishPost]

 .We also have a few duds Fosters, made for the export market as no one here drinks it  ...

Talking of Fosters, 

Click Here

My two favourite brews are from Tasmania, Cascade and Boags, however, I'm a great believer in the saying that when in Rome drink what the Roman's drink and so when I visit say Queensland, then I will drink XXXX .

Do you know the reason why Queenslander's named their beer XXXX?  - because they couldn't spell Beer.

Cheers.

[Christopher]

Australians, and people with Lisburn connections, on this Forum may be interested to know that www.lisburnchat.com is run by a father and son in Australia. If you have friends who live in Lisburn,
or lived there at one time, please tell them about the site.

[aussietrekker]

The stout's not bad either. I drink a lot of Abbot's Invalid. There used to be a good brew in QLD named Toohey's Oatmeal, but I don't think it's made anymore.

[Hendy]

Bet a lot of Aussies didn't care what they were drowning their sorrows with after England beat them at the egg chasing game.

[sj]

Bet a lot of Aussies didn't care what they were drowning their sorrows with after England beat them at the egg chasing game.

Neither do the N.Z. players.....two of them just racked a bar bill of 31,000 pounds two days ago.  If you can find out what it was you can buy me a glass because I certainly couldn't afford it.  However I think that the damage to the B.M.W. might cost more.    Isn't it sad

[BLOOMFIELD]

SJ

We live in amongst the crocs North of Cairns where the beer is strong and weemen are weemen.

A friend was visiting in Australia, he had the time of his life.

No matter were he went in mixed company, the " MEN " tended to stay together ( neglecting the wimmin' ) so he had great fun with the wimmin.

Do you guys down under not like wimmin', or do you treat them the way Muslims treat their wimmin'

He did say that the sheep were pretty.

[Hendy]

An Aussie farmer was sitting on his porch with his dog when a backpacker strolled passed. "Do you mind if I talk to your dog" the backpacker asked, "work away cobber" the farmer replied, "his name is Bruce"
"Hello Bruce are you well looked after here"?
"Yeh" replied the dog, "Fed twice a day and loads of free space to roam about"
The farmers mouth opened wide in amazement, "strewth mate how did ya do that".
"Do you mind if I ask your horse a few questions" the backpacker asked.
"Jeez mate, go ahead, ask away" said the farmer.
"Hello big fella are you well looked after"?  he asked the horse.
"Couldn't be better, loads of exercise, lovely stable and all the oats I can manage.
The farmer still amazed "Jeez mate that's fantastic" he says.
"Do you mind if I talk to your sheep"  the backpacker inquires.
The farmer looks back at him and ponders, "No mate, that would be a no goer, those sheep are lying bas***ds"

[BLOOMFIELD]

How do Australians find the sheep in the long grass.
 

 DELIGHTFUL.

[Hendy]

The seven dwarfs went off to work in the mine one day, while Snow White stayed at home to do the housework and cook their lunch.

However when she went to the mine to deliver their lunches, she found there had been a cave-in, and there was no sign of the dwarfs.

Tearfully she yelled in to the mine entrance:"hello - is anyone there. Can anyone hear me".

A voice floated up from the bowels of the mine:
" Australia will win the Rugby World Cup"

"Thank god" said Snow White "at least Dopey's still alive"

[abbey]

2007 Australian Citizenship test 

___________________________________
1.. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
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2. Explain the following passage: 'In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.'
__________________________________
3. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash? 
___________________________
4. Complete the following sentences:
a) 'If the van's rockin' don't bother ?
b) You're going home in the back of a ?
c) Fair crack of the ?
_________________________________
5. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
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6. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
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7. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard 'up on blocks'? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl?
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8. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
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9. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
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10. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
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11. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?
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12. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?
__________________________________
13. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
__________________________________
14. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter 'b' is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
__________________________________
15. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
__________________________________
16. Is it possible to 'prang a car' while doing 'circle work'?
__________________________________
17. Who would you like to crack on to?
_________________________________
18. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?