Author Topic: New Element  (Read 1467 times)

BigAgiesMan

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New Element
« on: March 03, 2010, 07:59:20 PM »
Scienists at Belfast Metrapolitan College have discovered a brand new element. The new element, Stormontium (symbol=Sm), has 2 neutrons, 10 assistant neutrons, and 96 deputy neutrons giving it an atomic mass of 108.

These 108 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Stormontium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Stormontium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Stormontium has a normal half-life of 2 to 5 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Stormontium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Stormontium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Stormontium bonds with Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Stormontium, since it has twenty times the number of pillocks but half as many morons. Administratium pillocks are characterised by an aversion to using up energy. In fact the more pillocks there are in Administratium the less energy they use

The scientists concluded that in its present form there were very few practical uses for Stormontium
Bord na Móna

bobdenn

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Re: New Element
« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2010, 08:58:45 PM »
 
   
 
Brilliant (and true)

Headline boat man

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Re: New Element
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2010, 06:18:30 AM »
I think there will be problems with the use of the tern "MASS". :stop: :scratch_ones_head:

Geraldine

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Re: New Element
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2010, 07:42:24 AM »
I think there will be problems with the use of the tern "MASS". :stop: :scratch_ones_head:

 :D
For to be free is not merely to cast off ones chains but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.          Nelson Mandela

ned

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Re: New Element
« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2010, 11:16:40 AM »
The scientists concluded that in its present form there were very few practical uses for Stormontium
 
How about using it as toilet cleaner? ;)
Be careful out there folks because they aren't.

belle

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Re: New Element
« Reply #5 on: March 04, 2010, 07:03:20 PM »
 :D
Love like you've never been hurt,
Dance like no one's watching,
Sing like no one can hear you.


 

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